Tradition & Paper Flowers

I think it is normal to wonder if you’ve done a good job in raising your kids and there are moments in which you realize… I think I’m doing okay J I had one of those experiences today that changed me.

Halloween is my son’s favorite holiday. To him it is better than Christmas.  He has always been this way and has planned his costumes a year in advance.  Once one Halloween ends, he starts planning for the next year (he’s a funny guy).  But even with this he’s also a teen and teens love the craziness of socializing and look for opportunities at every corner.  But for some reason this year was different. I found him by himself a lot and there wasn’t much desire to “branch out” so to speak.  He finally had 2 days off of work on a weekend (which was unheard of) and he wasn’t out doing anything.  I started to worry, so I would say things like, “why don’t you texts some of your friends and see what they are doing?” and he would calmly say, “nah, I’m good.”  So then I’d try, “why don’t you find a girl to go on a date with and go to Cornbellies or something?”  and he’d follow up with the same, “nah, I’m good.” This phrase wasn’t working for me.

What was going on here?!? This is a boy who loves adventure and fun; and ps… Halloween is full of all that.  But he was also a boy that isn’t an open book.  He’s also a son that you have to pull away the layers to find out what he’s thinking.  He doesn’t talk about his feelings much, so after a brief moment of freak out I told all the kids to start working on their Saturday jobs and honed in on him.  I told him that I knew there was something going on and that I needed him to talk to me.  His eyes started to well up and he said, “It’s really hitting me mom. This is the last Halloween for a while with the family.”

For those of you that don’t know we are Mormons (LDS).  When boys reach the age of 18 or older they have the opportunity to serve a mission for our church.  My son turns 18 in November but still needs to finish his senior year before he goes.  You might ask, why would parents be okay with this?? Or you may ask, why would young men/young women choose this??  Well the reason for this is simple, because we love the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the happiness that it brings to our lives.  We love it so much that we would love for others to find this same happiness.  I’m not going to lie, giving up my son for 2 years of his life is the hardest thing I have ever chosen to do.  I kind of like my kids.  I like having them around.  I like his teasing, joking way about him.  I like his smile. I like his laugh.  I like the special relationship we have been able to create over his 18 years of life.  He is a blessing and a joy.  But his desire to serve is real and his love of the gospel is real; and he is so excited for this great adventure that I can’t deny him. But that being said, even though he wants this great adventure doesn’t mean it isn’t hard for him… and me.

So back to my story… after his confession he said, “I don’t want to spend Halloween with anybody other than my family.  Those are the only people that matter.”  He was right.  I had let the busyness of the holiday lose my focus of what was really important.  It was time to regroup.  We called a family meeting to collect what was left of this Halloween.

In my room I have a flower collection that to most may seem really weird but to me it is a treasure.  I will NEVER throw this away because it is a reminder of what is most important and that is each other.  Life is fast and sometimes we will let it pass us by if we don’t choose to slow things down a bit.  I have put on the brakes this year and I will probably have to remind myself to do so again and again, but I hope when I see my flower collection it will remind me to keep the focus.